Speak of the Devil

A Facebook friend posted stern advice:

Normally, I give the devil very little thought, but upon reading her post, I immediately wondered what kind of driver the devil would be. It seems obvious he'd be a speed demon, and would only enjoy fast and flashy cars. Those who don't want the devil riding along could stick to decidedly drab, ho-hum vehicles. While he encourages other drivers to drink, do drugs and engage in non-stop cell phone use, he prides himself on being a skillful driver and is not seduced by such habits. But I don't think the devil could bring himself to dutifully obey the traffic laws. When you hear the sirens, you'll find yourself deserted, back in the driver's seat.

We speak of the devil as if he could be everywhere at once; sort of like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve except the devil never has down time. There are, of course, the infamous devil's minions who would be assigned to carry out routine villainy. But we always speak of being tempted by the devil, not by some lesser staff member, or God forbid, some intern only recently dead and gone to Hell.

I'm trying to imagine the corporate culture of a place where everyone has a serious behavior disorder. The devil needs some competent middle managers he can trust, but he can't reward them. Probably an all stick, no carrot kind of environment. Given the constant stream of incoming souls, and no departures, I would think the devil would have long ago lost interest in corrupting the living. Sure, you could still get the devil's personal attention in biblical times; but really, I think you are driving your own car now.

CEO of Hell Inc.