I worked with Mary for about a year at a prestigious law firm in Seattle, but only got to know her in the six years we spent together as friends on Facebook. She died of cancer four months after announcing her imminent death to her large collection of followers and Facebook friends. She was as shocked as we were by the totally unexpected diagnosis. Many of those followers had never met her in person, but it wasn't necessary. Mary was a writer. She was a storyteller and included us in her daily adventure; her online friends were family.
Offline, Mary's closest friends were her dogs and her cats; with people she seemed to be a friendly but determined loner. Online, she was open, always interesting and amusing. For the last four months, I have been part of the online family's grieving process as we tried to tell Mary how much she has meant to us; how much we will miss her stories, her bright spirit.
Mary loved to travel the city with her dog and her camera, and report back. That ended abruptly with the pain of late stage cancer; Mary did not go out anymore. In response, I begin to take photos on my daily walks to share with Mary as she was still able to spend brief periods online with us. My walks became more lively and more poignant; I began to see again instead of listening to the constant chatter of my mind. I will continue to see and take the photos on my walks, but it's not the same. I am missing Mary.
I cannot properly describe Mary. It is more appropriate for Mary to describe herself as she did in this Facebook Note from February of 2009.
25 Random Things by Mary Witter
February 2, 2009 at 5:03pm
1. I caught a fish as a child and when its eyes met mine, I threw it back. I’ve never fished again.
2. I believe that nothing can take the place of wood-pulp books and papers—the feel, the sight, the smell, the sound of turning pages. Same with snail mail letters with doodles in the margins.
3. I have never quite learned when to quit or to wait until the flag drops before plunging in, but I’m working on it.
4. Eager to believe, I listened when they said it’s never too late
5. I went back for four more years of school at nearly 50 years old. Graduated with honors, awards and massive debt.
6. One of my greatest pleasures is to plan, nurture and watch a garden grow from my window, complete with birds, hummingbirds and butterflies. Wish I had one now.
7. I’m going to stop smoking for good tomorrow...third time is the charm. I started again when Sadie died…I was lost and didn’t care.
8. As a very young child, I once sat on the dusty earth under an enormous wasp nest and poked it with a long stick. I thought the wasps were rushing out to say hello…didn’t occur to me that they were angry. I didn’t get stung.
9. I have a sense of curiosity and adventure that sometimes lands me in trouble.
10. I enjoy intellectual pursuits--obviously. :~)
11. I believe that poets, writers, artists and actors serve their countries and humanity better than all the militarizes in the world.
12. My favorite film director/screen writer is Sally Potter.
13. The Sally Potter film I love most is “Yes”. I was so caught up in the storyline and visuals that it wasn’t until the second time through that I realized the dialog is written entirely in iambic pentameter.
14. I am an only child. An orphan who has been up for adoption for some time now. We problem children are notoriously hard to place.
15. I have painted my toes gold every summer since 1976. Before that, I was a hippy-chick flower child and it was not allowed.
16. I am a romantic to the core.
17. I'm closer to online friends than anyone I’ve met since returning home to Seattle seven years ago. We’ve been through a lot of stuff together –births, deaths, jobs, health. Online friends feel like family.
18. I believe that rough edges are immeasurably more interesting than cut and polish. Diamonds in the rough have gotten a bad rap.
19. When I was 9, I secretly signed and mailed in a form from the back of a magazine belonging to my mom’s spooky friend. The form was to add my name to a list of people to be taken up by aliens. I didn’t hear from them, but I’ve kept one eye on the skies ever since.
20. I once worked for a circus and married the Ringmaster.
21. I saw a ghost when I was three, but didn’t tell anyone. He was an old-time Native American man who didn’t notice me. I’d never seen anyone dressed like that before. The image has remained, causing me to keep an open mind about such things, even though I don’t really believe in ghosts.
22. I drove a long haul truck in the 80s (field trip!) and lived like a gypsy in a bubble, flying across the open road. Had a little dog, microwave, great stereo, TV, bookshelf and so many blooming air plants it looked like a floating greenhouse.
23. My mom was an immigrant from Austria with an 8th grade education, my dad had a 6th grade education—both had immeasurable wisdom and compassion. I was the first in of either side to go to college.
24. The one thing that turns me off is obscene wealth. Greed is not a virtue.
25. I am cracked up by life and all its glorious variety and I'm sure the Tricksters roll on the floor laughing at mine. (Or is it the aliens? see # 18)
Offline, Mary's closest friends were her dogs and her cats; with people she seemed to be a friendly but determined loner. Online, she was open, always interesting and amusing. For the last four months, I have been part of the online family's grieving process as we tried to tell Mary how much she has meant to us; how much we will miss her stories, her bright spirit.
Mary loved to travel the city with her dog and her camera, and report back. That ended abruptly with the pain of late stage cancer; Mary did not go out anymore. In response, I begin to take photos on my daily walks to share with Mary as she was still able to spend brief periods online with us. My walks became more lively and more poignant; I began to see again instead of listening to the constant chatter of my mind. I will continue to see and take the photos on my walks, but it's not the same. I am missing Mary.
Photos for Mary
 |
| Reflection of Leaves in Water |
I cannot properly describe Mary. It is more appropriate for Mary to describe herself as she did in this Facebook Note from February of 2009.
25 Random Things by Mary Witter
February 2, 2009 at 5:03pm
1. I caught a fish as a child and when its eyes met mine, I threw it back. I’ve never fished again.
2. I believe that nothing can take the place of wood-pulp books and papers—the feel, the sight, the smell, the sound of turning pages. Same with snail mail letters with doodles in the margins.
3. I have never quite learned when to quit or to wait until the flag drops before plunging in, but I’m working on it.
4. Eager to believe, I listened when they said it’s never too late
5. I went back for four more years of school at nearly 50 years old. Graduated with honors, awards and massive debt.
6. One of my greatest pleasures is to plan, nurture and watch a garden grow from my window, complete with birds, hummingbirds and butterflies. Wish I had one now.
7. I’m going to stop smoking for good tomorrow...third time is the charm. I started again when Sadie died…I was lost and didn’t care.
8. As a very young child, I once sat on the dusty earth under an enormous wasp nest and poked it with a long stick. I thought the wasps were rushing out to say hello…didn’t occur to me that they were angry. I didn’t get stung.
9. I have a sense of curiosity and adventure that sometimes lands me in trouble.
10. I enjoy intellectual pursuits--obviously. :~)
11. I believe that poets, writers, artists and actors serve their countries and humanity better than all the militarizes in the world.
12. My favorite film director/screen writer is Sally Potter.
13. The Sally Potter film I love most is “Yes”. I was so caught up in the storyline and visuals that it wasn’t until the second time through that I realized the dialog is written entirely in iambic pentameter.
14. I am an only child. An orphan who has been up for adoption for some time now. We problem children are notoriously hard to place.
15. I have painted my toes gold every summer since 1976. Before that, I was a hippy-chick flower child and it was not allowed.
16. I am a romantic to the core.
17. I'm closer to online friends than anyone I’ve met since returning home to Seattle seven years ago. We’ve been through a lot of stuff together –births, deaths, jobs, health. Online friends feel like family.
18. I believe that rough edges are immeasurably more interesting than cut and polish. Diamonds in the rough have gotten a bad rap.
19. When I was 9, I secretly signed and mailed in a form from the back of a magazine belonging to my mom’s spooky friend. The form was to add my name to a list of people to be taken up by aliens. I didn’t hear from them, but I’ve kept one eye on the skies ever since.
20. I once worked for a circus and married the Ringmaster.
21. I saw a ghost when I was three, but didn’t tell anyone. He was an old-time Native American man who didn’t notice me. I’d never seen anyone dressed like that before. The image has remained, causing me to keep an open mind about such things, even though I don’t really believe in ghosts.
22. I drove a long haul truck in the 80s (field trip!) and lived like a gypsy in a bubble, flying across the open road. Had a little dog, microwave, great stereo, TV, bookshelf and so many blooming air plants it looked like a floating greenhouse.
23. My mom was an immigrant from Austria with an 8th grade education, my dad had a 6th grade education—both had immeasurable wisdom and compassion. I was the first in of either side to go to college.
24. The one thing that turns me off is obscene wealth. Greed is not a virtue.
25. I am cracked up by life and all its glorious variety and I'm sure the Tricksters roll on the floor laughing at mine. (Or is it the aliens? see # 18)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments Welcome.